Saying Thank You

With all of the events leading up to our wedding, I have had a lot of opportunity to write thank you notes recently. With more than one shower and a bachelorette party, we have received so many generous gifts, and we of course wanted to extend our gratitude. This has led me to realize that I have a bit of an obsession with thank you notes and stationery. There are so many cute options out there, and there is something about book and stationery stores that could keep me browsing for hours on end.

I have found that events surrounding a wedding have a bit more of a generous timeline. You still want to keep it within a month or so, but you have a little extra time.
What is your opinion on thank you notes? Where do you like to shop for them? Any particular favourites? I'm always looking to add more to the ones I have on hand!

I had never really sent a thank you note until I went on a summer mission that required asking for financial support. I sent a thank you to everyone who supported me, either financially or those who committed to supporting me through prayer. I've honed my skills a little bit and feel little less awkward writing down my thanks now, so I thought I'd share a bit here!

What to Say

I actually really like to focus on something other than the gift first. If the gift was given at or in relation to an event, thank them for attending, or if they weren’t able to attend, still mention how lovely the event was and that you wish they could have been there (nicely – don’t make them feel bad for not being there!).

Of course there are some instances where you’re really just thanking them for the gift (or service), in that case go straight to thanking them for the gift/service but then add in something else about your relationship. You could tell them how you appreciate their friendship, say you would like to get together soon, let them know you'll send an update soon, or mention that you hope you can return the favour in the near future.

When mentioning the gift, there are a few ways to go about it. You can be a little more general and just say thank you for their gift or you can actually name the item. If there were multiple items, I find it is best to keep it general. In the case of monetary gifts, I always keep it general and refer to it as their “generous gift.” For gifts that are things, I like to mention how we’ll use it or what I’m excited for about it. If it was a service, I like to mention how it helped us out, and if it was a monetary gift, I like to mention what we’re thinking of putting it towards or how it will help us in a slightly more specific way.

Timing

First of all, being prompt is best. For birthday, anniversary, special events, or random gifts, I would say that writing and sending your thank you within a week is the timeline I like to stick to. However, you can gauge the situation best. There isn’t actually a rule here, so you can choose! Just think about if you were on the receiving end, when would you like to receive it?

Weddings are also a little different, there is a larger socially acceptable time period for a thank you card. This may have something to do with the sheer volume of thank yous usually coming after a wedding, and also the whole settling into life as a newly married couple, maybe even coming back from a honeymoon too. Even still, some websites say that as long as you get the thank you out within the next year you’re good, but I’d say that’s still pushing it. Stick to as soon as you can after the wedding, and try not to exceed three or four months.

Other Tips

- Spell names correctly
- Keep your audience in mind (maybe save that funny and slightly vulgar thank you card for someone other than your conservative aunt).
- Sometimes it’s even sweet to include a picture of the gift being used (a toy for your child, an outfit for your dog, flowers in a vase).

- Even if you don’t like the gift, send a thank you! And don’t let your opinion of the gift show in your thank you (no one likes rudeness in the form of passive aggressive thank yous).

- Don’t OVER thank. There is such a thing as overkill and you don't want to get caught in a revolving thank you door.

Other Ways of Saying Thank You

Sometimes a thank you card might be a bit of an overkill (see above), or the person you’re wanting to thank doesn’t have a permanent address. Whatever the reason, sometimes you just don’t want to send a thank you card, but you still want your gratitude to be known. You can send a text, an e-mail, give the person a call, or set up a coffee date where you treat… Thank you cards are not the be-all-end-all, they’re just a nice gesture! And on that note, not everyone feels the same way as you, so if someone else doesn’t say thank you in any way, try your best not to take offense – more likely than not it just didn’t cross their mind. (It is best to assume innocence).